The Mathematics of Neil
by AmoreBlack
Summary: Neil had long then decided who he was, and how he was going to view his deal with relationships... especially after that thing happened with... well... [Slash HerryxNeil] [Oneshot]


**The Mathematics of Neil**

* * *

Ever since he had first glanced at himself through a cold surface of a mirror, his features heavily defined with a bright ray of orange sunshine and imaginary flower petals flying behind him dramatically (not clashing his bright red shirt, of course), it was as if the gods had shown him someone extremely worthy of his attentions. From then on, he was thoroughly convinced that there was no woman possible for him—alive (preferably)— who was perfect enough, and beautiful enough to be called his very own girlfriend, or whatever—though 'lover' had a certain gorgeous ring to it but...

Either way, 'lover' or no, Neil thought that if she was indeed entitled to being honored on having him as a lover… he totally deserved equal treatment, really.

This, of course, is nonetheless held true whenever he looks at himself in front of a mirror, both sides peering as if their lives depended on it… sweet words whispered and heard, and it didn't really matter who said it…

… for him, this defined who he was: the descendent of Narcissus, the most beautiful youth on Earth—until Neil was born.

He mentally preened.

For others, however, this certain fact would be quite _strange_ to say the least. Very, very… insane. In medical standards, and in human standards, too.

Now, going back to the subject of Neil and the word girlfriend, or, to be more precise: _girl_— she would have to be not lesser and greater than gorgeous compared to him; 'Lesser' because, well… hm… obviously. He seriously felt like laughing...

'Greater' because Neil thought that, sure, at first he'd feel quite happy that he had found someone who was more beautiful than him—but then in the end, like after three seconds of that sheer feeling of victory, he'd just end up being all torn with jealousy with the fact that he wasn't exactly the fairest in all the lands of vainness and… such things of that nature. Then those coffee hours and sleepless nights would occur; he'd grow all bald and wrinkly out of jealousy while she—whoever she was, would continuously steal his spotlight…

"Spotlight's on her now, kiddo, live with it." they'd say.

… that is to say, of course, there were no other beings, either mobile or even suspended in animation, fairer than he.

No one.

_Ever_.

And he'd rather _die_ than get caught being all bald, and horrendously needing the damnable, unforgivable botox.

So, in a nutshell: the only one worthy enough to have his love… is himself. Or perhaps someone who was similar to him in every aspect, every contour, every personality…

Then again, there could only be one Neil in this world… (cue teammates nodding their heads in agreement)

But as time wore own, and he had actually formed… _deep_ connections with other people, even if they were forced to put up with him and his gorgeousness at first, that particular shallow calculation had started thawing off his hands, creating this thick, mucky liquid—definitelynothandlotion­— which was once a moral he had held intimately into consideration by having worn it like a favorite Giorgio Armani cologne… and suddenly, while he was lazing about in his bed, denying the existence of this dawn's sun, groggy, fresh from a good night's beauty-sleep, and thinking of otherthings in particular— like that time when he almost died and was lucky enough to be saved by Herry, twice in a row, where they ended up in a rather… interesting position…

Okay, a very interesting position, what with the _very_ faint stroke _right there_… sadly overshadowed by the crisis going on in the background and this reallywasn'tthetime forthis. Herry probably didn't even notice what he just did with his damnknee because he kind of stood up abruptly and chased after those flying—flying thingies, whatever they were, but…

… wait, what?

_Hm… thick, mucky liquid… _

Um.

_Ew._

Neil quickly opened his eyes in shock... disbelief, disgusted—yet intrigued—yet disgusted that he actually had that sort of thought. Indeed, no woman could be a match for him, but that didn't mean that a man couldn't—

A breath of pause…

It seems that the Mathematics of Neil had a _Hippasus_ who finally proved that everything about him wasn't all that perfect after all, considering that a mirror didn't have that sort of ability to make him feel that...

… _like that…_

"Damn it!"

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_Author's Notes: Hippasus of Metapontum-- one of Pythagoras' students who discovered irrational numbers and was drowned because of it because, well, Pythagoras (who believed that the whole world was based on numbers/mathematics) couldn't accept it and thus considered it heresy, along with his other students._

_Whoo! Okay, I've only watched two episodes of Class of the Titans, being a mythology geek and all, so if there are any mistakes that I have made-- 'grammer' or Neil-wise (my humor is atrocious, I know...), please tell me properly. Flames will be ignored, although I usually laugh at them... _

_There're honestly not that much HerryxNeil fanfics out here, soo- I thought that I should add a lil' contribution:) Thanks for reading this, and please R&R!_

_**November 29, 2007- **_Revised it. Nothing serious, though, I mostly just cut down the italics for a bit (Thanks **BlackSheen**! XD).


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